Demons suck. Literally. If you meet one, they’ll probably suck out your soul. But they also suck in the broader sense, in that they’re horrible. Believe in them or not, there’s still a 50/50 chance they exist, and if they do, they most likely want to eat your dreams for dessert and sniff your bone dust as though it were cocaine. Demons are crazy like that. But if you were to be possessed, there isn’t just one demon that’ll haunt you. There’s a whole plethora to choose from — or at least, to be chosen from. Keep reading to find out which demon would most likely possess you, based on your Zodiac.
Aries. If you see an old man riding on a crocodile with a hawk perched on his fist — run. This is the demon, Agares. With him at your feet, you’ll be running into danger left and room, ultimately to your doom if you’re not careful.
Taurus. Because you just couldn’t let that inherent selfishness go, the demon Jikininki is coming for you. Sure, his name sounds fun to pronounce, but that’s the last fun thing about him. This self-loathing demon will come for you to make your life a living Hell.
Cancer. Lamashtu is demonic plague if there ever was one. She’s a baby-snatching, crop-killing, blood-sucking monster whose only purpose is to wreak as much havoc as hellishly possible. You can thank your over-emotional personality for this invitation.
Libra. The demon, Kokabiel, isn’t much different from you, which is probably why he’s coming for your soul. Stuck between two worlds (heaven, which cast him out, and hell), he and you share a connection to balance and imbalance. Kokabiel is pissed off and is going to take all of that hatred out on you.
Gemini. Mephistopheles is up to no good — and apparently you’re no different if this demon is coming after you. He’s coming for your soul, and any other soul that’s as tainted as yours. When you see angel wings, don’t assume you’re being protected. If they’re attached to a straight up beast, you’re done for.
Leo. You may think you can protect yourself from a demonic possession, but you’re quite wrong. The demon Abyzou represents quite the opposite of everything you stand for — specifically your natural inclination to be a protector. This demon doesn’t like children and will come for yours for as long as it’s got you tethered.
Aquarius. Even though you’re trying to live as normal a life as any, Lady Midday would be delighted to ruin that for you. According to Listverse, when the days are hot and your workload is heavy, she’ll haunt you. If you can’t answer the questions she asks, don’t expect to keep your head on your shoulder — because she’s going to cut it off.
Scorpio. If you’ve ever seen “The Exorcist,” then you should be pretty familiar with the demon Pazuzu. When you’re not vomiting on priests, levitating and spitting up blood after spider-walking down the stairs, you should dedicate some time to figuring out how to get rid of this soul-sucking monster.
Sagittarius. Leave it to you to be possessed by the Christmas demon. When Krampus comes for you, he won’t be roasting chestnuts over an open fire — he’ll be roasting you. Luckily for you, Krampus isn’t usually one for straight up slaughter, so if nothing else, you’ll at least end up with a few burns.
Pisces. You’re the kind of person who typically has a wandering imagination. But you know who else likes to wander? Bukavac the demon. This monster, according to List 25, typically drifts along bodies of water. But avoiding water isn’t going to save you.
Capricorn. When Hell sends it cronies after you, it’s going to send Asag. Before you even realize what’s hit you, Asag will come after you literally like a bat out of Hell. He procreated with mountains to create demon mountain minions, and he’s also a demon of sickness, according to Listverse. So… good luck with that.
Virgo. Prepare to be possessed by the demon, Aka Manah. Despite your need to live a controlled life, Aka Manah will do everything in its power to stop you. It will curse your life, preventing you from fulfilling anything.